Reason for BEing
Reason for BEing
My defining quote and story of my life is by R.M. Drake – In the end, she became more than she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys, she did not end. She simply changed direction and kept going.
My entire life has been exactly this way. I didn’t realize that all this time I was being positioned for starting my own business, but that’s exactly what it was.
My background stems from nearly 20 years in the title insurance industry. I fell into this industry when I was 19 years old and it took great care of me. It turns out it was something that I was not only good at, but it also propelled me into a career after being a college dropout. It treated me well and helped me through the financial burdens of starting a family at such a young age. The stability of a good career helped pave my way to where I am today at the age of 40.
My repeating theme in life however, was that I felt this gnawing feeling that I was missing something, that I wasn’t doing something I should be. I almost always had that feeling, like I just left for vacation and I forgot something. Identifying that thing was a struggle, but I kept trying to make it complete. I would go all in on the stuff that I thought was creating the void, sometimes without even knowing that’s why I was going all in. Have you ever recognized this in yourself? You buy the new car, get the new furniture,make more money, move…and NOTHING seems to quench it in the long run, so the cycle repeats. This was my life. Close, but not quite, and I was never that great at settling for almost.
In 2007 when my health was failing. I had taken a deep dive into unraveling the mystery of my autoimmune disease, no longer accepting the fact the medicine was my cure, I began the extremely long journey of healing myself. I had LOTS of ups and downs, tried everything that had an iota of hope and learned enough to nearly become a holistic practitioner myself. That’s actually a joke, I still need health coaching. But I did know more about health and nutrition than most of the people in my immediate circle.
Through the course of this journey people could see the changes in not only my weight, but my overall appearance and of course my demeanor. Naturally they wanted to know what I did. I eventually began helping others as much as I could, to simply understand the basics of real food vs. fake and taught a few classes on “eat this” “don’t eat that”. It truly was a passion. But I was still in my real estate world and couldn’t see a way to escape the golden handcuffs, so coaching was something on the side, when I had time and for fun.
In 2016 however I was really considering leaving the industry that had been so good to me. The feeling that I was not supposed to be doing this was intensifying. I ended up making a slightly lateral move into the back end of the title insurance industry and left the “trenches” once and for all. I ended up taking a position as a “trainer” for a very fast growing title insurance company in the Twin Cities Metro Area.
The company I joined forces with is well known and aggressive when it comes to growth. I joined this new organization and ended up building the training department complete with process and procedure manuals for each position within the company. I learned that I was capable of more than I realized. When I joined, we had roughly 35 staff and more growth was on the horizon. It was in this position that I began to realize exactly where I belonged, sort of.
My position with this company evolved from just training, to communications and working closely with the HR department on a plethora of things including; hiring, onboarding and training, communications, conflict resolution, performance improvement, employee engagement, rolling over to a new payroll system, constructing compensation plans and rolling out new software. It was probably the first time that I felt truly a good fit for my skill set, working with and helping people through creating a better culture, hiring and mentorship. All the while getting these old pangs of “I think I’m supposed to be doing something else ”. It had crossed my mind over the course of a few years that “wow, I could do this for many businesses”…but never really considered the “how”.
This is the funny thing about the Universe though, it has a funny way of making us extraordinarily uncomfortable so that we MOVE!! It was November of 2018 that I felt that uncomfortable nudge. I felt again like something was missing, that there was something more waiting around the corner. It was a hard move, quitting a company I love. I had created a strong relationship with the owner of the company and to this day she is my soul friend and mentor. I cannot even begin comprehend the amount of growth I had due to the experience that I was blessed with while working for her and her company. There are no mistakes.
I made the move to what I felt was FINALLY my landing place. It was a smaller company that was looking for growth, it was in the health and wellness arena, I figured this HAD to be it!! But it wasn’t the right fit for me, and in a very short time the universe once again said…MOVE! This time it was loud. I tried to fight against the idea of putting myself once again into limbo in my life, but the harder I tried to make it work, the more my body and world spoke up. I was starting to feel depressed, and my body was retaliating, I found that my health was also declining. It was rough.
I finally caved, threw my hands up in the air, cried on my living room floor and called it. I made the phone call, quit my newish job and went for a run. It was the most amazing run of my life. I felt this crazy sense of something awesome and new on the horizon, but I had no idea what. It was at this point that I knew I needed to start my own business, and it had to be me, mine and my way.
I filed my LLC paperwork for BE Industries in May of 2019. I had no idea how it would look, how I would package it, but I knew it would be something. It was the letting go of the how and what that allowed me to just let it happen.
This is still a new journey for me, and it’s always changing and I’m continuing to learn, oh yeah…and the universe continues to move me through discomfort. It’s still hard, but I understand it now. There is a place I need to be, and it’s always changing, but I have faith that I will always arrive.
Herein I find my purpose, and that is to help others realize that we are all participating in this human experience. We are all designed for a purpose. We need to know this, and allow our own self discovery to help us arrive on the path we were destined to be on. I know my own feelings of a lack of purpose and meaning brought me to owning my own business, and I know I’m not alone.
My contribution to this cause is to help individuals discover their strengths, align with their beliefs and apply to their lives, and when they lean in I have no doubt that they will also find their purpose. When businesses who also take this same approach find those whole individuals and it’s a match, the world becomes a different place.
It’s not about the work life balance, it’s about life.
Be: verb, meaning to live or exist!